Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Sit The Hell Down. It's Story Time.

It started off simple. New, yet simple. My first christmas out of school. My last day of work is Christmas Eve, Eve. I drive home on Christmas Eve itself to my sisters, the older sisters boyfriend and my mother. We eat dinner. We chat. We open out presents. Everything is happy. Then it's off to late night church. Normally it's at midnight, but since we have a new pastor, it is now at 10pm, which is rather nice considering how tired I was. We walk in and the first obstacle is...we must lay a strip of fabric over a manger as we are swaddling the baby jesus. Ok. Weird, but ok. This isn't normal. In fact, my being in a church isn't normal. I only go for christmas church and that is for my family. After swaddling Jesus we take our seats. Someone brings the manger up to the front of the church with what looks like a baby in it. Church commences and the bell choir butchers numerous pieces with what sounds like a John Cage piece involveing dissonants and bells and random loud counting from everyone trying to keep time. We get to communion. Weird, we never take communion at christmas church. Remember the doll in the manger from earlier? Well, the pastor goes up to the manger and uncovers it. It's a loaf of bread. Seriously. She takes it up and gives the whole spiel. Bless break dip in wine, you know it. My mom leans over and says "how's that for symbolism?" I lean back and say "it's kind of Jonathan Swift-ish don't you think?" She rolls her eyes and looks forward. Now on to the seemingly forced commuion! Normally we pass around trays and people that want partake. This time we had to stand up as pews and move to the front. It was too cramped not to move, so I get to go up front and say "no, thanks." and go sit back down. Nice. That was about all that happened at Church. That is about all that really happened until Sunday. Sunday, we are at my fathers house. Eating, talking, opening gifts. The like. As we sit and watch a movie later, he drops a bomb on us. His wife is pregnant. Holy shit! Shit shit shit! Of all the things that have happened to me, I think this is the most surprising. I have two sisters. The youngest is 17. A new baby?! A new little have brother or sister? What do I do with them. I don't live were I can really grow up with them. I mean, I am already sort of grown up. Besides that I will probably be moving far away by the time it's two. On top of that my sisters are freaking out. Some a little over the top, the other, perhaps not enough, but still reacting. It's crazy and I can't really tell why. I don't know why a new sibling blows my mind. Maybe, because I was so resolute that this just wasn't ever going to happen. It did. I will have another sibling. It's incredible. We are such close knit siblings already and I imagine this is only going to make it more so, but I don't think much is going to change. I think that whatever comes of this, I will just feel that I have another cousin. I can't see myself getting super close to it. I won't say that I will activly avoid it, I just don't see me having the time to do so. I already see my cousins twice a year, if not less. Would I really see this kid more. It would make it hard to treat it like a sibling. I don't know what to do really. This is fucked and I am tired and already feel over worked. I think I have to have a talk with the department store.

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